do you hug someone when you first meet them

6 Incredibly Important Body Language Cues When You First Meet Someone Makes perfect sense. But the militant-againsts are more likely to comment on the subject. Im a big hugger in my personal life especially if someone is a good friend or close family member, I am all about the physical affection. In the US, there is no way to tell who will and wont be a hugger based on any type of cultural/regional background (except in a few places where it seems *everyone* hugs, like when Hawaii was mentioned). And, you know, the shouting), I work remote as do many of my coworkers. I am not a hugger. I was standing in a room, surrounded by all the binders I was assembling, bit by bit. Ive got one for you: kissing in the work place. I always have fun when I am with you. Years ago, when I was leaving my parents home after a visit, my mother hugged me twice and for next several months, I was expecting a call from her to announce that she was terminally ill. Two hugs from my family still freaks me out. Hugs are also good for confidence boosters. Im very huggy in my family of origin and at home, but much less so with friends, and no-way-Jose in the workplace. > The Latin double cheek kiss is wildly common in certain parts of the country. Which I did not expect. It was way weird on my first day of work after moving to Miami and my female manager leans in and did it. but i dont often offer them so yeah wtv. Wriggling out of a hug once its started is far more likely to openly signal I dont like this which may visually feel more noticeable. why did I just do that? Which is that a whole heck of a lot of commenters seem to have an overly strong reaction to what is at heart a pretty mundane activity. That is so the opposite of emotionally intelligent I cant even. If someone got very good or very bad news, someones leaving or getting promoted, someones last day in the office before maternity leaveall acceptable. Whats interesting is that Hugger and I have become close outside of work, and sometimes Im *still* put off by the hugging. That means that you should default to not hugging unless you have good reason to believe the person truly would welcome a hug. [1] First, understand why you are hugging this person: perhaps you are greeting a dear friend; perhaps you are comforting someone who's crying; perhaps you are trying to share your feelings for a crush or a partner. Hes not in my direct reporting chain, but he has technical oversight over my division, which has two levels of management above me.). Im a hugger! I dont shake hands with my friends and family, and I dont want to hug my coworkers and clients. He is an Adjunct . Exactly! p.s. All Rights Reserved. If no one else in the room is hugging, its probably not the time to hug. Im actually intrigued by your extrovert/hugger association, since Id assume introverts to be more hug-prone. Hi, its nice to meet you., Sarah? So just do it! Then where-ah do you summah?, For the curious, the initial map is here: http://www.leparisien.fr/images/2014/03/30/3721821_act1.JPG. And truthfully I also want to say yes because I desperately want to be comforted, but at the same time I need to not be touched in that moment, so . But I work for a service agency and people here are huggers it doesnt seem to bother anyone so I grin and bear it for the most part. When Can You Be Around Someone Who Had COVID? - Health I want to hug you so I will hug you unless you explicitly say no is not that far removed in concept from I want to touch your ass, etc.. Ive been hugged multiple times by quite a few people, despite my best efforts to avoid it and despite my never reciprocating (I just stand there). effing. I don't think I'd askanyonein my family really, becauseI just don't particularly want to share physical touch with them too much. Also, Ive seen them far more among people where theres no strong power imbalance (such as someone in the management line). Ive left way too much makeup on mens suits. Im curious to hear from other non-huggers about this. Hugging on first date? : r/datingoverthirty - Reddit Non-huggers dont have to hug and arent forced to, and the exact level of hug (from gentle side-hug to bear hug) depends on the relationship- you wouldnt give a 30-second full-frontal hug to a new acquaintance, and if you did, that person would probably avoid hugs after that. (which I do an awful lot lol, often out of the blue, because in a relationship I really love frequent hugs and touch in general). 3. That when you dont want to be hugged, a hug is not pleasant. Ive been working with teenagers most of my adult life, and I would pretty much never initiate a hug. If they put both arms around your neck, consider other stuff like how tightly they squeezed you and what other body parts where touching during the hug. And then I moved to the more conventional office environment, and found my feelings on hugs changed drastically. A couple members of my family are mouth kisser greeters and even as a child I barely tolerated it. Im surprised shorter people are hug magnets. Yuck. On tiptoes, for those of us who are taller and/or wearing heels. Shrink back in the hopes that you wont get hugged? This could be on purpose, or it just might be the fact that people sometimes look different in person. Unless you work somewhere with no concept of personal boundaries, it should be completely OK not to hug. What is so important that we felt the need to put it in two different guides? So my 4-year-old puppy will stop doing whatever shes doing if I yell Kiss on the nose! and plant one one her. You should kiss on the first date, but only a light peck, not a full-on makeout sesh. If you hate me for giving you one hug when I didnt know your preference, youre the jerk. She is not good at taking no for an answer. She kissed me on the neck accidentally. My partner is 63, so I stopped noticing the awkwardness of hugging someone much larger than me a long time ago. Where I used to work, our account person from our AOR would hug us and my boss and I both hated it (one of the few things Boss & I had in common). See if they are leaning back and distancing themselves from your or leaning in towards you. Surprised the crap out of me. Is that wrong? Please tell me how it is for you so I can understand. I also have a very good friend at work that Ive known for two years and have lunch with every day and I would feel really weird hugging her. No!! Everywhere else though, yes, probably dont hug. If huggers were able to read this as well as they think they can, there would be very few people here complaining about unwanted hugs. 5. Afterwards, HR had company wide meetings about sexual harassment policies. No words were spoke, but I could feel he was awkward by his body language and face. I try really hard to avoid her. patient just coded/died) and I typically will ask do you need a hug? first. Its different from a formal handshake but not a hug that makes us non-huggers uncomfortable, and it serves the same purpose as a typical hug in the workplacehey Im glad to see you, congrats on the contract win, delivering the project, etc. No! Or something similar to ask for consent? I replied, "Do you want me to?" I can change! The classic hug is one of the most common hugs, where you and the hugger wrap your arms around each other with your chests touching and heads side by side. It is simply destined to fizzle out. I do in instances like when a co-worker came back from a years maternity leave, or other Special Occasions as mentioned above. I cant understand why someone with think that the reasons a person dislikes hugging would magically go away when they heard bad news. I hug former coworkers if Im seeing them for the first time in a while, and current coworkers if they leave. If youd like some more help, check out our first date advice section that is chalked full of guides, tools, and resources to help you have the best first date possible. When i worked with mostly men I didnt have this issue as its easy to ward off a hug when everyone else is shaking hands and youre just doing the same thing. I never initiate but I wouldnt reject a hug from a coworker. Savvy Handshaking Notes: When shaking hands, its best to not pull others towards you during the handshake by touching their elbow or shoulder, or to cover their hand during the handshake with your other hand. Plus there are probably lots of regional differences. Ive hugged, and been hugged by, commissioners, EDs, VPs, contractors and others. The one exception to that might be colleagues who had become friends, but even then Id be very leery about hugging in work space. Up until then, she said I was an encouragement to her for I always told her, and she is the praise leader, how great she is at her job and she is a fine singer. To say the least, I was shocked and even stunned to the point of almost not going back to the church. I couldnt be happier! Most people who get a hug from someone they don't know will say in their mind, "wow, I really like that person. Im a textbook extrovert, but I take my energy / momentum from verbally, not physically engaging with people. The Latin double cheek kiss is wildly common in certain parts of the country, and can be a little jarring when youre working there and coming from the heartland, where handshakes are the way to go. Mostly Id get two or three, and once I even got four! Im fairly hug ambivalent, but I have noticed that whenever there are colleagues that you dont see frequently (work in different offices/cities) thats when the hey, good to see you hugs are far more common. Last modified on Fri 18 Aug 2023 14.13 EDT. No worries. To clarify: its not that Im not a huggy person, its that I have a hard time even imagining someone hugging a coworker in the workplace and was pretty astonished that Alisons advice wasnt Holy inappropriate unprofessional Batman DO NOT DO THIS. And my workplace is really casual! If you're taller, you have some choices to make. I know better than to touch someone without permission. Jeez, we barely hug. Even though hugging can feel like the "right" thing to do in some cases, just stop and think about it before you go in for one. The side hug Be ready. Do you want to hug? Creative ways to ask for a hug Ill give a little leeway if its someone who has left the organization and is coming back for a visit e.g. If someone has a hard decision to make, give the person a hug. Oh lord, that would have me screaming I need an adult loudly enough to hopefully embarrass the hell out of them for some time to come. When I first talk with them about it, I explain such things like that not everyone likes to get hugs, and some people like hugs sometimes, but not always, etc. You can replace hugging with introversion, team building, how dare you say female!, and make essentially the same argument. If a guy is touchy on the first day, he is probably trying to communicate to you that he's interested. Men should never initiate a hug with a woman. But in another situation where my coworker laughed, came over to my cubicle, and slapped the back of my chair without prompt or reason, I snapped and told him to get out of my cube. I understand some people do not like hugs and I would hate to make them feel uncomfortable. If it's someone you've spoken to for a while, then maybe you can go for a hug.

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