He starts going on about how seeing me brought back all the memories and reminded him of how happy we were. I wish more people were honest about it instead of trying to be politically correct. She is in contact with the mental health team and is on medication. It's like reading the same book. Internal changes require growing inward, becoming responsible, tending to the childs needs, and wanting the best for the familyand external changes necessitate minimizing the time with friends and hobbies, ignoring rumors and judgments, and learning more about how to be a good stepfather. It hurt me really bad and she hurt me even more during the divorce. Theyve learned that love comes from within and that accepting a womans child from a previous relationship is no different than adoption. And also, if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance,click hereto see our coaching plans. How can I win my pregnant ex girlfriend back? - Relationships | Forums Lay it on think, be serious, also letting her know you are not perfect, but would love to be given the opportunity for you both to try again, and that you have always wanted any child of yours to grow up seeing both parents together. Any advice. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. I'll Never Find Someone, My Husband Still Works With The Woman He Had An Affair With. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Is your impression correct? Not to go into too much detail but we had a lot of sex themorning before the scan and she was all over me after weeks of nastiness. Unfortunately due to both of us causing harm to each other in the relationship, it ended up failing. So if you have reservations about an ex with a baby who wants you back, know that youre not alone. Should I tell her? 5 Ways That Fear of Abandonment Threatens Relationships, Why Gazing Into a Partners Eyes Boosts Intimacy and Sexual Pleasure, How Complex PTSD Can Affect Intimate Relationships, 10 Relationship Lessons for My Teenage Daughter, Dismissing Attachment and the Search for Love, 4 Signs That You Shouldn't Be Friends With an Ex, 3 Signs You May Have Suffered Childhood Emotional Incest, 6 Ways That a Rough Childhood Can Affect Adult Relationships. But my actions have always been pure and good and Ive really been there for her and her daughter. Especially when life is overwhelming, you need repair in the form of positive experiences. | Just popped up on my page and it's heavy in the feels. Instead, he would take me as a shameless woman who used the baby as a lever to manipulate him. Not just for the child but her as well, and win her back? I've been thinking about this for a few days now and I just don't know if I should tell her. Maybe that's one reason she doesn't believe you can change. We had 2 kids together which I ended up raising for 8 years on my own. They appreciate a woman who is responsible because such a woman will encourage them to be the best versions of themselves. Ask her what her plans are and listen intently. Will he refuse to divorce me because of this? The car drove toward the city center. Yes! I nodded as I passed the contract signed with the hospital to him, uttering, Dr. This is a very personal question and a very sensitive subject, so I cant directly tell you whether you should be with your ex and take on the responsibility of fostering your exs child. All rights reserved. When you want to reunite with your ex-partner, its normal to feel desperate to win them back, but this pressure is likely to push them away. Telling My PREGNANT Wife "I Don't Want A Baby With You Anymore" *BACKFIRED*Want to become an influencer? ago My Ex Had A Baby With Someone Else And Wants Me Back Break ups are bad especially when theres a child involved. Make a new friend or start hanging out with your old buddies. If that's the case, space and time is definitely what she needs.But you seem like a really sweet and genuine guy so I really hope it works out for you and you can be happy together. Let her know you want to talk to her, let her know that this is something you want her to know, whether she will accept it or not is totally up to her, but you would love the opportunity to say what is in your heart. Multiple deaths in the family amplified my stress. She's probably talking to you like that because you won't leave her alone like some kind of obsessive stalker. Of course you get defensive. Should I tell Ashton about this? I know this looks awful but I am in this situation that is stated above. I recently got divorced due to her wanting to get back with her ex so i left and asked for a divorce. Thank you so much for pointing that out to me but I'm a very blunt person in general so I like to give it straight. He explained to me that they were pretty much broken up and it was more of a roommates situation until their lease ran out then he was going to leave her properly and get out. But she doesn't believe I can change. I don't know exactly what he had said to her about me but I didn't want to be painted as the bad guy in this so I decided to just go nuclear and sent her literally everything and an apology to go with it, I told her that I had been seeing him before the pandemic and was under the impression they were separated and she knew everything. So basically my question is should I just tell her we cant be together because this kid may come into my life someday and I dont want to take care of this kid? Stepping back also lets them see your strengths. When the child is born then you can file for joint custody and until then gtfo of her life. And damn do I have to say, shes also so much better of a person for him then I ever was and tried to be. My (20m) ex (18f) has recently given birth to our child, Sarah. Make sure that youre willing to be a good role model for the child. If it has, is it enough? Privacy Policy. You are indeed acting very immature about this, if you were serious why would you write her a letter and let me tell you this, she is interested in going down the road with you which is why she is asking so many questions, she just wants the assurance. before we got divorced we were seperated for about 5 months or so , in this time i met someone that i think is great and care about but this person is far away for now.we made all sorts of plans and i would still want them to happen. While he was hospitalized, he forced Ashton to marry me. For months I begged to get back with her and be involved in the pregnancy but she denied this and kept me blocked on every communication except email. What if you found the courage to stop trying to control her or the situation? You sounding desperate and emotional is just another sign that you are not ready, you just be firm and understand that all she needs is reassurance. Even if they did have their own kids they have been robbed of the joys of going through lifes stages with a partner for the 1st time. I got my ex wife pregnant and I'm in love with another women. I dont mind dating women with children however I dont think I can return to my ex after she had a child with someone else. Hard to say without knowing her side like someone else has said but maybe give her the space she wants and keep supporting her from the side. 07/04/2020 16:54 I've posted on here a few times, but I really need to hear the advice of others as I am pregnant and trying so hard to stay positive. I'm sure he's never messaged her over and over again or showed up her house without being asked or begged her to come back to him when she said no multiple times. There are exes who return when they fail in life and learn their lessons the hard way. Ignoring them, I slid into the front passenger seat. Let her be the one to bring up getting back together. She may have matured at an incredibly fast rate and may not necessarily want his ex back just because shes desperate for help. Its up to each person to decide. Angrily of course. I (30F) and my fianc (28M) are engaged and expecting a baby early next year. Pregnant and engaged, but want my ex back. : r/confessions - Reddit Together for a year , got pregnant , he supported me and is in love with the fact I'm having his baby.. She once told me that she secretly gets off to me making her jealous even though Im not trying to. Few days leadingup to this she was sending me sexy dirty messages on Snapchat which is all completely out of character. I basically told him that I wanted the full truth from him and asked him what made him think he was going to get away with manipulating and lying to two women who are both honestly worth better than him (I don't know his girlfriend, we have a couple of mutual friends but I do know that everyone is worth more than a man who thinks his behaviour is acceptable). I said I have all the conversations where he had told me he was leaving her, the conversations where he had lied and said she knew he was seeing someone, all the chats where he had tried to manipulate me into staying with him, messages where he had told me he loved me and couldn't stand her and couldn't wait for their tenancy to run out so he could leave, and even him trying to reach out a few weeks ago and me saying I had moved on. Just do a reversed phycology. But what a guy usually doesnt take into consideration that a lot has happened while he was gone.. This may be the most challenging part. You're a human and you're standing up for yourself. Maybe if you can accept that she has her own mind and her own life, then she can see that you have truly changed. I already take care of the 2 kids my ex and I had together. Now here I am, three months pregnant, and Ive been grieving the life I had planned with my ex. She didnt want any part of that nor get a divorce. Two words: evolutionary biology. Why someone can want love, but not be able to tolerate it. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. How do I convince her I want to be there. i just want to b ok and if that means i have to b alone id rather get on track with that. Why is respect so key? Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Pregnancy brings out a lot of emotion, thinking about your partner and really evaluating them as your life partner long term. I dont want him back anymore after him making me believe it could work and I entertain the idea because the rug I was making for my future has just been snatched and I wanted the pain of falling flat on my face to stop. Maybe it wont be too late. Our contact has become less frequent and the texts have been becoming nastier and nastier till she just tells me not to contact her anymore. I do not know if it was your experience as child, but if you never grew up with both parents together, let her know it was hard and you do not want to expose your child to that. Before Covid-19 happened I was scheduled to get married to my fianc. And yes it was probably a monkey branch after I pushed him away in hopes he would grow up. Cookie Notice Ive talked it out with friends, and even talked about some of this to my fianc. #redditstories #redditreadings #redditshorts #shorts #reddit #redditreelones #askreddit #reddittruestories #subwaysurfers Stereo is a social audio app where . Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Like she's not ready to settle down yet. My ex wants me back, do I tell his pregnant girlfriend? Glancing at me, he ordered in a clipped tone, Get out.. You guys could probably benefit from professional help, that way you can communicate with a neutral party and see what you really want. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Just because you make one bad decision doesnt mean you have to keep making them. When she says leave me alone I do. 4. Comment below. This tells me she either got pregnant by someone else while she was with me or shortly after. Love means respecting their wishes and giving them space, not controlling and crowding them. Thanks for the correction! They simply dont like being forced to take responsibility because they want the responsibility to come to them naturally with time. All rights reserved. Are you absolutely sure your pregnancy is your lovers? I was with my ex for 2 years and we were very happy. Reddit, Inc. 2023. I simply remained silent. *long post warning*Ladies I am breathing, but just dont know what to do or think / feel etc.. I was absolutely furious when I heard this, like properly hit the roof and cut everything off entirely, I told him I knew he had been lying to both of us and not to contact me again. For more information, please see our If thats something you arent or arent willing to become, the child is better off with just a mom. It could be hormones, or just the stress of becoming a mother. Approximately 3 years later she contacts me via Facebook and we have a casual conversation. Communication is everything. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. I was angry that he hadn't told me earlier but I understood why it was something awkward to bring up and explained to him that I wasn't comfortable with the situation but we had a great relationship and a deep connection and if he was serious about leaving her we could figure something out. Ex girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, will we get back together, My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around, My girlfriend found out she is pregnant by her ex after we started dating. When two people gaze into each others eyes for a few minutes, they can develop deeper trust and greater intimacy and mutual attraction. We started becoming friends again 4 years ago and would talk here and there. freaking sucks. A handsome man in a luxury car would undoubtedly garner the attention of many passersby. As a guy I read the article as if she left him. He told me that she was very aware he was leaving her and she didn't care about who he was seeing or anything like that, and if I'm being honest I was so infatuated with this man I felt no reason to question it, I just believed him. I have no idea how much of this woman's mental state he was being honest about or if she really was mentally abusing him but I know from mutual friends that she would probably react very badly (and probably violently) if she knew what he had done. It's in everyone's best interests especially your daughter's for you to maintain a supportive co-parenting relationship with your ex, at the very least. They think theyre strong because they carried a baby for 9 months and learned how to be responsible. No self-respecting woman wants to be with a man who thinks he knows what's best for her. Give it some thought and figure out if your goals and responsibilities align with your exs and if youre even emotionally and financially ready for the biggest commitment of your life. see theres kinda a new mind set when youre pregnant the whole caring for two. Privacy Policy. you said she said that too much has happened I dont know your relationship but if shes referring to maybe things that have happened in the past that have hurt her that might be whats on her mind right now. Feeling unsafe is one of the biggest signs of cPTSD. Ive tried to talk with her. you're absolutely right as somebody who has had an obsessed stalker X I could tell you straight up his post made my skin crawl. He told me that he really had meant everything he had ever said to me and that one day he thought we could work it out and be together. Through the conversation and Facebook photos I find out she has a son approximately 2-3 years old. My ex wants me back but she is pregnant : r/wantexback - Reddit His ex had gone through a lot of internal as well as external strugglesand became stronger and wiser. All rights reserved. Everything you said is true, but it is delivered without any empathy or compassion, which means it is likely to be completely useless. Maybe.if you stop crowding her with your insistent presence every weekend and focus on being a good father to your daughter, then your ex can appreciate your presence and your strengths. Maybe co parenting would be a better choice if she doesnt want to be in a relationship with you anymore. My boyfriend got another girl pregnant while we were together, My boyfriend got someone else pregnant while we were separated, My ex had a baby with someone else and wants me back, We broke up and he got another girl pregnant, When your ex has a baby with someone else, When your ex has a baby with someone else and wants you back. I just bottled shit up. She still wants to give this a chance. What if, instead of doing more to win her back, you did more to win at life? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Now, I'm like 10000 percent sure this is hormones fucking me up, and the fact I never gave myself time to truly heal and grieve. I just wish this wasnt happening to me so I didnt have to be traumatized or heal from other peoples shitty choices. He left me and went back to his ex, I agree with the post where we think they're all happy and in love again and yada yada yaaaa.. The relationship had been falling apart for awhile and then recently we found out that she was pregnant. I feel she is still ignoring me and doesnt appreciate the efforts I try to make. So I get home and do a bit of snooping on Facebook, I see they're still together, still living together, and she's pregnant. It might just be me being a weirdo though but I can definitely say that if shes not interested, you continuing to pursue her tends to push both women AND men away. I would crush her if I told her I changed my mind, but would be better now than down the road. Even when he's done me wrong, no matter what happens I try hard with him and hold on with all my might. Even the best mom in the world cant fix the problem and the son disrespects my ex (his mom) because his dad does the same thing. He practically begged me not to and told me she wasn't mentally stable enough to deal with this right now (again with him blaming her mental stability when things aren't going his way lol). I just really react badly when someone treats me like filth for no reason overlong persons of time. In my drowsy state, I heard the faint sound of a car engine being switched off; it was coming from the courtyard. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. Step 1: Get back on your feet. I am not saying this is right its just an option. Id never do this to my unborn children as I love and respect them. My husband and I tried to get pregnant with our first (currently 7 mos pregnant with our second) for over a year and I had several miscsriagges. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! He didnt take the contract; instead, he gave me these instructions in a perfunctory manner before he started the car engine. and our Dont be afraid of having a conversation with her, Rich. I actually wrote her a letter expressing everything in my heart and told her I would be there for the child and I want to be a part of this and told her what a mistake I made for how I acted. So take some time to study your exs intentions and see if you can trust her again. For a reason unknown to me, he offered to drive me here, saying that it was on his way. Get that nasty secret off your chest or simply use this as a place to vent. He tried to deny everything and said that I must be mistaken and they had definitely broken up and she was not pregnant and if she was somehow pregnant it was nothing to do with him. She said how do I know you're not gonna run off cuz it's too hard? And yes, im in the anger stage. Why would a woman keep a pregnancy a man considers a mistake? Its abhorrent. She got pregnant after we were officially divorced by some else and I guess they lived together for a couple years before she became single again. What if you shifted your focus from winning her back to getting your life back? In this post, well talk about the things you should be aware of when your ex has a baby and wants you back. Not sure how you could win her back at this point. For at least the first couple of months. maybe your not even the father I would ask for a DNA test then go from there something doesn't sound right whether you have done something you didn't fess to or she's done something that is too ashamed to fess up to. How Long Before He Calls After A Breakup? ago u/stevethenoodle I want my pregnant ex wife and family back 493 points 944 comments 10 10 10 comments Best Add a Comment lmyrs 10 mo. He was telling me I was his soulmate and that one day he was going to marry me he just doesn't have the heart to hurt her and cause her more stress but he would get out when she was more stable and we would be together and a load of other complete crap. She came to mine on the day of the gender scan. Some exs cant deal with the fact that their 1st time experience of parenthood has been taken away with that person. The newness, its familiar. I know you care for her deeply. Are You Going Overboard with Honesty in Your Relationships? How To Make Your Baby Daddy Regret Leaving You? Or wants to because he makes bad choices but hes not a bad person and she wants to be linked to him for life. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I loved my Ex and had to let her go years ago after we were married for 5 years. If so it might be starting to come back and affect her..being pregnant is hard especially when you think of how youre stuck with someone you will essentially have in your life forever now that youre carrying their child. Keep busy and distracted, I know you want to be a family and it hurts being left so abruptly like that, I know I would be hurting too but its better long term to find someone that truly cares about you, loves you & wants to be with you. Yeah, taking responsibility for the woman getting pregnant with some other guys progeny Fuck that As Steve said, what self-respecting man would agree to this? Nah, I doubt it! I live across the country from where she lives and right now are just talking. Now we are looking at getting back together, but I dont want anything to do with the child she had with this other guy. Maybe have a dont care attitude even if you care for her and see if she wants you back or at least make her realize your worth. She said they were friends but Ive never heard of these men before. Five signs your partner might not be available for the connection you crave. Youve shown her how much you care for her. I know when Im pregnant it seems like my husband isnt being supportive, even though he is. I had the same situation,my ex betrayed me,she moved out,,then after a while she decided she wants to move back,she promised to fix her stupid desire to get involved with other guys,,she was ok for 2 years then again she got into another affair,,once a cheater always a cheater is a fact that I ignored,,the second time the guy was married,so my ex wrecked a family without blinking.cheaters are . I just really need some advice on how I approach this. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Maybeif you listened instead, you could discover what she really wants and start granting her wishes. Of course you react badly. Cookie Notice This does sound like a painful situation. Men get shamed for having standards and not falling for manipulation. The first two questions on your mind are probably: These are very common questions going through a guys mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. A fear of abandonment often results from developing an insecure attachment style that influences how a person engages in their relationships. Just be there for her without pushing. I hate that so many people in this world willy nilly carry a pregnancy to term just because they got pregnant or are too weak minded in my eyes to NOT put a child in a situation to be raised without both parents simply because one is irresponsible or where they arent together or where one might go to jail for years.
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