he is confused between me and his girlfriend

It was too much to throw away. straight up, i think you should go back to him. Would it do me any good to read as he wouldnt read the book. Its not a Midlife Crisis, Its an Opportunity, My Husband Doesnt Love Me and Hes Texting Someone Else, My Husband Cannot Decide Between Me and His Mistress. Hes so unfair. I am India now since a week no communication from my husband his family nobody. Yet, our kids are suffering immensely from this. What would prevent a guy from confessing his love? - Quora That's for her to do on her own. We were planning to have kids as we delayed first due to his MBA then the relocation. Why do i have to win him over ? Remember, you cant change him but you can change the way that you respond to him. Being connected on social media also helps him because its easier to start talking to you. Dont get angry or defensive but ask when you understand: how practical it is? Hi Andrew, I am in a tough spot and could use some guidance. He says he is blocked and is having a hard time reconnecting with me and letting go of his mistress. Be patient, and let it pass. Just the other day I spoke with Candace who said, " My ex is confusing me because he broke up with me, told me that things are over between us for good and that he's never coming back, at the same time he started to reach out and I can tell that he's curious about me and wants to get closer to me. I then leave him to it, I dont beg or plead with him to come back but instead focus my attentions on myself and my children. What should I do? Approximately 10 years ago I had an affair which wasnt intimate until husband agreed to such we were seeing a marriage counselor and as in my confusion I tossed out polyamourus or open marriage the therapist guided us that way instead of having me look at what I really wanted. I was having trouble dealing and resented him for not giving me more support with the baby or anything else. He spends time with us (we have two young children) and acts like he is so happy to be around us. The book explains Radical Acceptance. If this all seems really hard. Even after 13 years old marriage we treated each other with much love and care, and we were best friends and confidants for life. It may be that somebody has told you that you're not in love with this other person, that it's a fantasy, an infatuation, or that it will go away. Cannot imagine my life without him. The constant lies havent helped either. If he wont commit to letting her go, what is his solution? Not only will his research prepare him for the next time you see each other, but hes also hoping that this opens more chances to connect with you. He will not mention divorce or separate our money. Thank you for your thoughts. If you've been giving him mixed signals, he'll most probably reflect them back at you. He told me he will stand by her even if his affair comes out in open in their office. But he still will not commit to letting go of her. He ended it when I found out and he got a flat to rent (in the earlier weeks he had been living at her house). What should I do when a guy is confused between two girls? We had two young children at the time it started and also doing a lot of work to our house to make it a home so I admit on both parts a lack of communication, affection and attention to each other occurred. Being confused is not gender specific and even if you are the most sensible person, confusion can walk up to you without an invitation. On the other hand, doing nothing is as if I condone their affair and I am letting this other woman do what she wants online. Both of you want a quick and easy answer but how youve reached this point is deep and complex. Even guys who are experts at acting cool and collected wont be able to control the way his body is naturally drawn to you. If he had already made up his mind about calling it quits, you would know. Hed left a couple of times before he confessed but always denied there was anyone else. A guy who likes you will always bring you up in conversations. He agreed to try and has stopped all communication with his lover. He has said from day 1 he feels depressed, anxious, might be bi polar, a Narcissist etc (all things hes said) but he wont get help. You deserve better. Now, I believe most of the affair bubble has burst and he told me to sacrifice my marriage so he can make her a part of his life and be happy. He may have a lot going on in his life, and is unsure of where the relationship stands because of that. His physical behaviour softens when you are near (ie: he becomes more gentle) He may seem nervous when you're around. Andrew G. Marshall is the UK's best-known marital therapist and has thirty years experience. He knows I know about his nights with her yet he still lies and hides it all. Signal Twelve - Laughs at Your Lame Jokes. Is there any legal remedy? Can I sue facebook? If she says milk is black he wil say same. I got job again at same place but we worked different shifts and I developed knee problems and constant sinus infections and continued to withdraw. Please help me. Youre not saying you are ready to make a decision but you are very close. I on the other hand, keeps moving forward with my life, our family life. The space away from my girlfriend, I hope, would make me realise that she is the one for me and come back to her in a happier place where I feel I can be happy and give 100%. Most women have a certain level of emotional intelligence that enables them to feel comfortable exploring their feelings and expressing their emotions with their partner. Spending time in groups works best for him because he can be around you with less pressure on him. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. He usually answers with a list of grievances he has against me, be they old, new or even resolved, which diminishes or erases anything positive we may have been doing. N now i dnt think he is entirely too happy with her but also wnt leave her and come home . He is too possessive about cleanliness and with all electricals, furtinuture, clothes everything. All too often, women go out of their way to please the people who are important to them. He also probably cant stand the idea that you would be with someone else who isnt him. Losing a child is incredibly difficult but to be dealing with this at the same time is unimaginable. He told me that he has to want it before he can proceed with us and that he feels frozen. This guy is probably afraid to let you know he really likes you. told me that he had been having an affair for the last eleven months and that he was leaving me. Even if hes uptight and serious, he would even agree to something completely silly as long as youre asking him. They got together immediately after our break up, had a kid together, and got married. Of course, good friends or coworkers tend to buy gifts for you when there is a special occasion. Unfortunately, there is no sense discussing the other woman since my husband is still a bit in fantasy mode, but my therapist is hoping that based on my husbands actions, that the limerence is fading. I told him i wnt chase him and i wil heal and move on with my life without him. My husband cheated on me after I begged him for a month to tell me if he was. So i am devastated and mad at myself for not taking better care of my marriage. ( pick them up from outside my house, take them out for the day and drop them off in the evening ) . and Im midway through Its Not a Midlife Crisis. Hello . Good luck. I've been through a lot when it comes to relationships, and I want to share with you everything I've learned. I have a very helpful and wonderful therapist while my husband has refused to seek any help and is very stubborn on solving this issue on his own. i told my husband that he can opt to choose the OW but i will sue them. Then we both met up to his parents home and came back to UK. He might realise that she is not the answer to his problems. I agreed and tried hard (I struggled that he saw her at work) At the end of Sept i found out he was still seeing her and told him to leave. I cover this area in three of my books, the most important being Resolve Your Differences, where there is a chapter on assertiveness. I think all of these would be helpful. i am in this situation right now. Are there any among your readers who had a similar experience? Over to other readers for their experiences and thoughts. It sounds like you will need a third party a therapist to help you decide a way forward. Last year around December he said his ex has broken up due to her husband in America has found another girl. Psychotherapist and relationship coach Toni Coleman explains why: "I have always had a theory that is related to males traditionally being the pursuers. The sinus infections became pneumonia and at same time I had to have knee replaced. I now realize that even though his physical affair had ended, emotionally it had not. Dont get your hopes up if the present is something that is unromantic or impersonal. But I have learned that there is another woman a subordinate 16 years younger than him. Ive laid my cards on the table and taken a step back but I feel like Im living in limbo waiting for him to realise our marriage is worth saving. Needless to say such wasnt the full truth. We are getting along well, showing some affection again, and he is even starting to sleep in the bedroom with me again. And other days, he turns off and avoids any physical connection with you. What do you think I should do? He enjoys our time together but not at an emotional level. 1. Instead of talking after a fight, find a time when youre both calm to talk about how you both feel and how to move forward from here. A lot of the time they didn't know what to call it, but they knew that they had an attraction to menthe locker room, the boy scouts, or wherever . When two people share an obvious connection, other people are quick to notice. You can't control how he thinks, feels, or what he decides. So what would I suggest, hold onto your counselling session and use it to put your cards on the table: he lied to the first therapist, youre both in a lot of pain, you are willing to change so the relationship can grow and become loving again but you cannot and will not cope with serial affairs. What would be the best course of action? Although I am not sure which affair he has had an exit affair? I already have said if he wants to explore his relationship with her farther its probably better off we separate as I am not comfortable with the continued constant contact. He needs to ignore you because you might notice that he likes you and hes afraid you wont feel the same way. Congratulations on your patience. It's one thing if they're seeking closure or they are real friends, but it's another if it seems like they use the connection as a lifeline (read: get back together . One week he came to pick me and said I need time you can come with me if you want I cannot leave the feelings straight away. Husband started saying he is missing me a lot and can see me everywhere at home. I explain more about this and offer long term support and infidelity survival training in my new group. You might think you did something to upset him but dont worry. He has agreed NOT to let her meet our children for a minimum of six months now its all in the open, and he has told her she must keep away from me and the children as not to jeopardise his relationship with the children. The problem now is he has an on/off girlfriend of 3 yrs he's confused about. Have you met any clients who have the same dilemma as what I am in now/? Will read the other one next. Hes been saying hes confused. They had been talking/seeing each other for close to a year when I found out and finally stopped communicating about 7 months after I found out. Rite after that he started distancing himself from me emotionally and physically. While she is there will the feelings ever change? (My guess is that she is just a distraction). He wants to act normally but his feelings are getting in the way. 7 Signs That You'd Be Better Off Ending a Relationship I am certain if he wanted this enough we could change things and make it work. If a girl is confused between you and another man, give her space. I would also recommend My distant dad by Jed Diamond (which is an autobiography which looks at these issues through his relationship with his father) and Under Saturns Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men by James Hollis. Friday he went to my brother and said he wants to separate as this is not working and cannot see me crying . He claims to have tried to end it but could not. He would dress up better, send sweet and thoughtful gifts, and make more appearances in your life. The problem is, he says that he doesnt want to end it and loves her but says he loves me too. You might find my book Its not a midlife crisis, its an opportunity will also help. He told me that as they were talking he started getting old feeling for her. I am not an expert on facebook and whether it is possible to sue them (but I think this is a distraction). I do not want this to be over because I love him and apart from the last year our relationship was very good. He now says that they only had sex once and she is currently back with her ex. So, this entire thing becomes a circle: both of you reflecting unclarity at one another, giving and receiving so. Ive tried explaining that he was missing this sort of connection with me and he sought it out in her, but he seems to think that it is fate, they found each other somehow, and that this all happened organically. And if you told him, he would not believe you. her ex asked him to ask me if I was okay with them being in communication again. Then on our wedding anniversary day I planned to make a card atleast with a hope that he would understand I am still missing him and I need him to come back home. She can't choose between me and her ex what can I do? I told him he needed to tell her to leave then. So start believing in yourself again. My husband said, his friend is a dentist and have setup a clinic right near her home where she stays with her parents and her sis-in-law. He always says it was a depressing period that he really regrets.

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