pros and cons of marrying your first love

Although there are different formats, they generally include things like: This biodata is passed around through family, friends, matchmakers, online marriage websites, and so on. Sure, it works for some people, but there are a number of reasons why it could be the worst decision youll ever make. You grew up together, went to the same schools, have friends in common. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Many factors can come into play, including timing, life goals, and compatibility. Cons | Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Married | Video There's a lot to think about before making the big decision to tie the knot with your partner. But ultimately, its a way to ensure financial stability for both the couple and their families. Alexandra Plesa She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. Person: You can be married without a fancy wedding. Not just for romantic reasons, but for ease. Having spoken to several young men and women about arranged marriage and why they opt for it even though theyve been brought up in Western countries, many cite this as their reason for it. People disproportionately choose healthy people to marry. On the other hand, there are some downsides to watch out for. Think about it: you get to avoid Crazy Priscilla, the one whos obsessed with her ex; or Peculiar John, whos a little bit too familiar with his dog. If someone suspects their spouse is thinking about divorce, it is likely because they're seeing signs they shouldn't ignore. As a result of these changes, the institution of marriage has evolved and become less prevalent in many societies. marriage has undergone significant changes, How and Why There Are So Many Singles in Canada. "If you want to rent a private venue, you would have to pay the owner of the venue a rental fee, and sometimes those are quite pricey," Velazquez notes. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter - @KiranAthar1. 1. Ultimately, the decision to marry your first love should be based on your current relationship and whether or not you feel that its the right move for you and your partner. The idea of finding that one special person who completes you, understands you, and shares your values and dreams is a powerful romantic ideal that is glorified in movies, novels, and television shows all the time. So all of this is an immense amount of pressure on families to have an impeccable reputation. "Falling out of love" in a marriage occurs in identifiable phases that happen before the decision to divorce is made. And this can become a real headache for a newly-wed couple who just want to start their life together. You might assume that your partner knows you inside out and can anticipate all your needs, which can lead to disappointment when they fall short. Theres no right or wrong age to experience first love. 5. Everyones love story is different, and deciding whether to marry your first flame or not can be a complex process. Lack of personal growth: Marrying your first love can sometimes stunt your personal growth if you become too comfortable in the relationship and don't seek out new experiences or challenges. You've probably seen each other through the worst of it. She also covers lifestyle and wellness topics for print and digital publications such Refinery. Monos Carry-On luggage review: Is it worth the splurge for your next All rights reserved. She enjoyed the fact that when her (now) husband was first introduced to her, the time they spent getting to know each other was more meaningful because they both had the common goal of getting married. It's complicated: The imprint of polygamy. First loves are designed to get all the kinks out and prepare you for true love. This can range from: Now, to some, this might sound limiting, and for good reason. If you are considering marrying your first love, it is essential to weigh the pros and cons carefully and make an informed decision based on your values, goals, and aspirations. Many cultures also follow the same stance, making it hard for people to come out, let alone ask to be matched with someone of the same sex. He got a . They may even be in the driving seat with parents just there along for the ride and to oversee things. So, in this article, Ill discuss the pros and cons so you can make up your own mind about it. You will have awesome anniversaries to look forward to. 2. Marrying your first love when theyre not right for you could mean that youll miss out on meeting your true love. You cant deny that it would remove several of the obstacles people face when looking for that special someone. Here are the pros and cons of having an arranged marriage. It may also encourage the couple to respect each other even when theres rising tension. You avoid the trials and tribulations of modern dating, Youre already familiar with their family and friends, Youll be more inclined to put in more effort, Youll be tempted to stay even if youre miserable, You could end up losing a good friend if things dont work out, The temptation to cheat will be heightened, Youll miss out on meeting your true love, Why Am I Attracted To Someone Unattractive? Is Living Together Before Marriage Good or Bad? - LifeHack Dear reader, of course, your decision about whether to marry is personal and dependent on how close to your ideal lifetime mate you meet, but is there one or more arguments made in this article that you'd like to keep in mind? Marrying your first love is often seen as the ultimate romantic dream, the stuff of fairy tales and Hollywood movies. Alter-ego: That's also a meaningless statistic because of the correlation/causation problem. That's hardly an argument against marriage. Lastly, a proposal should be about both of you. After all, your preferences for a partner might not necessarily reflect that of your parents! Less than 2% of all marriages are actually to a high school sweetheart. Heather Vaughn, founder, and CEO of The Yes Girls, says most clients she helps with proposal planning opt for a private proposal because they prefer intimacy when getting down on one knee. For a marriage that will last, having someone objective (the family in this case) who can judge whether the couple will make a good match or not seems like the safer option. As children, people learn about how adult relationships work from the interactions of their parents how they argue and resolve disagreements. He has used countless missionary . Of course, this is easier said than done. Person: What about the tax benefits of being married? Being a married couple or a single doesn't make you any less or more qualified for missions in God's eyes. Caste discrimination is illegal but still happens frequently. My partner is of a different culture and religion than mine, and we love the diversity and sharing of our cultural practices. And, statistically speaking, the odds are against you. If you have a great figure, you can look great in bodycon dresses, bikinis, and high heels. You havent experienced enough of the world or what (and whom) it has to offer, so its only a matter of time before those eyes yours and your spouses start to wander. Only by understanding both the benefits and drawbacks of marrying your first love, you can make a truly informed decision. The emotional connection: When you marry your first love, you'll have a strong emotional connection that has developed over a long period. However, its important to remember that 1st love marriage is not always the right choice for everyone. 64 saltysirenxo 5 yr. ago Married 8 years now to my high school sweetheart. This also applies to choosing our partners. Theres a certain level of naivete associated with marrying your first love, because the feelings you have for them are oftentimes connected to a glamorized, fictitious past. There are many different reasons why people choose to marry. Alexandra Plesa 3. Well, all that ambiguity is taken away with arranged marriage. Naturally, they want the best for their children, but other influences can get in the way that stops them from realizing how incompatible the match will be. Or even if it doesnt, the dynamics of your relationship will inevitably change. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. Due to your shared history and the emotional attachment you have to them as your first love, youre more likely to go above and beyond to make your marriage work. Among our biggest decisions is whether to marry. From trust to shared memories, these advantages will make you appreciate your first love even more. If you reconnect after time apart, but during that separation you stayed friends, that friendship would be in jeopardy if the marriage breaks down. How Rare Is Marrying Your First Boyfriend? Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Source: Alex Ramos, Pixabay, Public Domain. By marrying your first love, you skip past all of that messiness. Marriage & Missions: The Pros and Cons of Going Overseas as a Single or 6. What Are the Pros and Cons of Widow Remarriage? Couples who share the same values tend to experience less conflict since theyre already on the same page as each other. Interestingly, the statistics on divorce in an arranged marriage is much less than in love marriages (marriages out of personal choice without external help). Why It Is Important to Draw a Relationship Identity, Monogamy Is Not "Natural" For Human Beings, 18 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married, How Our Parents' Marriages Shape Our Relationships, It's Okay to Stay Together for the Kids: The Co-Parent Solution, Men Sometimes Avoid Marriage, But It Benefits Them More Than Women, 11 Reasons People Choose Not to Have Children. Thus, youll be sticking that sucker out till the wheels fall off. Only by understanding both the benefits and drawbacks of marrying your first love, you can make a truly informed decision. By getting married, you're legally binding yourself to your partner for the rest of your life, and that comes with both pros and cons depending on how you look at it. Compromise. In an arranged marriage, you arent wed and then thrown into the world and left to work out the complexities of marriage alone. This can have several potential downsides, such as missing out on educational or career opportunities, feeling trapped in the relationship, or growing apart from your partner as you both mature and change. For example, you may tolerate your partners substance abuse or emotional manipulation because you feel that you cannot imagine life without them. As Vaughn and Velazquez mentioned, with a public proposal, many external factors beyond your control can impact the proposal. Hack Spirit. Marriage is commonly considered one of the most beautiful things in people's lives. Unrealistic expectations: Because you've known each other for a long time, you might have unrealistic expectations of each other. I know Im not alone in knowing of couples who begrudgingly got together because their families wouldnt accept a no without putting up a fight. With each generation, traditions are passed down, with no fear of them becoming lost due to the mixing of cultures. 18 Arranged Marriage Pros and Cons - ConnectUS Shared history: You and your first love will have a shared history that nobody else can match. Wedding vows often get little in the way of actual attentionthey are often hand-waved as simply procedural. Right and your gut says "I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. We had our daughter at age 24 and our son at age 27. As the newlyweds get to know each other, so do their families. strong foundation can help you navigate the challenges, fall into a routine and neglect to put effort into maintaining the relationship, relationship and whether or not you feel that its the right move for you and your partner, strong foundation of trust and understanding, shared memories, and familiarity can make for a strong and healthy relationship, important to think carefully about the long-term impact that marrying your first love will have on your life and your relationship, 10 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Person Whos a Foodie, A Strong Foundation of Trust and Understanding. For example, if youre a Muslim, your family will only consider proposals from other Muslim families (and reject all else). Your partner could have a rose-tinted memory of the person they fell in love with, but so much might have changed that youre now two completely different people. Marriage is not a first-come, first-served arrangement, and your 1st love marriage should still meet the standards that you desire in a partner. Unfortunately, we human beings arent born with the ability to see into the future, which means we wont know that weve made a bad decision until everything goes kaput. Some common reasons include the following: While marriage can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience for many people, it is not right for everyone. This assumes that your first love is your only love. After all, in most cultures that practice arranged marriages, you dont marry just your spouse, you marry into their family. Conveying the feeling you want to express. The key is to enjoy the experience and to cherish the memories, regardless of when it happens. Person: I could cite other studies, for example, this review of the literature by Brett and Kate McKay, that concludes having a father in the home is crucial. Marrying your first love can mean getting married at a younger age than you might have otherwise. When you marry your first love, you are choosing someone who you are already familiar and comfortable with. Or much more recently, Leo Buscaglia wrote, "Love is life. Brigitte Yuille Updated June 24, 2021 Reviewed by Doretha Clemon When two people marry later in life, there is more to sort through than just wedding gifts. Deep emotional connection: Marrying your first love can mean that you have a deep emotional connection that can last a lifetime. Loss of freedom. The pros and cons of marrying without dating | The Times of India The truth is, many marriages do fail, and though no one desires a divorce, its much better than being stuck in an unhappy relationship. Your body is your accessory more than any real pearls, diamonds, or gems that you probably don't yet . The parents, grandparents, and even extended relatives will band together and help the couple in times of need, as well as with: This is because EVERYONE is invested in the marriage, not just the couple. I personally believe theres beauty in both, so long as the freedom of choice is there at all times. The latter is a marriage performed without consent and is illegal in most (if not all) countries. Their families got along well, he was a nice guy, surely they could make it work, right? Have you ever been in a relationship and a few months (or even years) down the line, wondered whether your partner wants to ever officially settle down with you or not? And because the couple themselves may not be given sufficient time to get to know each other, they risk entering a marriage where theres no trust built up between them. For example, your partner does not have to deal with jealousy issues, trust issues, or other relationship problems that often arise in relationships where one or both partners have been with multiple people. One of the beauties of marriage proposals is how creative couples can get with them. You just met The One or maybe a shady character. The advantages of an arranged marriage 1) It's an introduction rather than an instant marriage proposal Contrary to popular belief, nowadays, an arranged marriage is not much different from your best friend introducing you to someone casually over drinks. They may have the right to say yes or no to potential matches, but their opinions may be overlooked during the planning stages of the wedding. New data shows that today's generation in Canada are less likely to couple up. Pros: *you get to watch each other grow and learn from dumb ass kid to a confused ass adult. Pros and Cons of Marriage: 13 Advantages and Disadvantages - wikiHow Is It True That Single Women and Married Men Do Best? For example, you may never know what its like to have a different type of partner or to navigate the challenges of a long-distance relationship. Its what allows you to live harmoniously with your spouseeven once those feelings of infatuation and romance have died down. Even if you have good intentions to surprise them with a public proposal, it's unfair to put the person in a situation where they feel pressured to say yes because people are watching, especially if they're not genuinely ready to commit. While the strong foundation of trust and understanding, shared memories, and familiarity can make for a strong and healthy relationship, limited life experience, the risk of overlooking red flags, and the potential for stagnation are also important factors to consider. The Pros and Cons of Marriage Versus Divorce - Brides Now youre finally ready to make the ultimate commitment, and who better to do that with than your first love? It's normal for couples to feel some level of disconnect from time to time. "This pressure is felt by the proposer because they know everyone is watching, and they are hoping for a yes," she says. Last Updated August 20, 2023, 6:48 pm, by The families would do all the planning with little or no involvement from the actual couple. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. It's that being healthy and happy make you more likely to be married. More women are ending marriages because the relationships are no longer worth the sacrifices required of them. Second marriages often end in divorce more often than first marriages. Theres no exact statistic on the number of people who end up marrying their first love, but some studies suggest that anywhere from 10% to 25% of people do end up tying the knot with their childhood sweetheart. And for similar reasons listed above, the family pressure may put off unhappy couples from even considering divorce. Youve been shown the embarrassing baby photos. So when her parents introduced her to the idea of marrying him, she accepted. Last Updated June 26, 2023, 11:25 pm. "But a public location can either be free, or you may need a permit which is usually pretty affordable.". Marriage and family are changing rapidly. Pros and Cons of Marrying Your High School Sweetheart You know the person incredibly well Having grown up together or spent long periods of time in each others company means that there is nothing they dont know about you your personality quirks and what makes you tick which can be the ultimate game changer when it comes to forming lasting friendships. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. Person: Especially with life ever more challenging, it feels good to go through life's slings and arrows with a Special Someone. **Its important to note that arranging a marriage solely on wealth preservation with no regard as to whether the couple would even get along is irresponsible. Join us as we explore the benefits of tying the knot with the one who stole your heart first. However, before you take the leap and say I do to your first love, it is important to consider the pros and cons of marrying someone you have known for such a long time. Since you've stated your SS benefit will be significantly higher than hers (not a cultural stereotype, as mentioned by some posters ), a marriage will entitle her to receive 50% of your benefit at FRA. 5 Pros and Cons of Living Together Before Marriage This connection can bring you comfort, security, and intimacy that is hard to find with other people. These negatives eventually come back to bite you both in the rear, before sending you to divorce court. Family formation, fertility, and partnership patterns have changed drastically since the mid-1900s. As you have matured together and have gone through all relationship stages, you will already know each other inside and out. Therefore, lets check now the cons of a 1st love marriage. July 22, 2023, 4:00 am, by If it wasnt clear before, there isnt much room for emotion in an arranged marriage. While some people may love the idea of a public proposal, it's not for everyone. Will People Fall in Love With Their Chatbot? The families want to see it work out. So be sure to also have a plan B at the ready in case any of those things occur. I dug a little deeper some people had shared their experiences but for the most part, its as if there simply isnt the option to have an arranged marriage and be Gay or Lesbian.

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